American Church Football League

When I moved to the Czech Republic, Petra was one of the first people who called me back and offered some assistance. She did not know Prague, but at least she could speak Czech and smell a rat. I remember after buying a cell phone, which was a necessity. Coin-operated phones are comical in the Czech Republic, and my first flat only had one land-line for the whole building. A word to the wise about the coin-operated pay phones, they are rarer than their card equivalents and usually have been “mickeyed” to steal the coins anyway. Having fallen victim to the phone goblins several times, at least consider other options when you need to make a call.

In Prague and Brno, coin-operated pay phones are relatively common. Just like anything else they are hard to find when you need one. Pay phones in Czech are marked in yellow and green and usually operated by Český Telecom. They come in two flavors coin and card. People without cell phones prefer the card ones because they are less likely to lose the cash to the evil phone goblins. The phones function pretty well, no better or worse than American gas station phones. Be careful though, many tricks abound on how to catch the coins that are returned. Coins jamming the hole, to wads of paper or scotch tape are all common techniques to steal the coins from unwary visitors. It is just the way it is. When it happens to you, it adds insult to injury because you were in a rush and or needed to make the call. It is bad enough that your call was not completed and when you least expect it, you do not get your change back. Argh!

When I got to Brno, I received a text message that Petulka would be there soon. She was at to the wrong bus station. Which was probably my mistake since I thought there was only one? Not to mention that I had no idea where I was when the bus stopped this time. Petra arrived shortly after her sms, and she looked great. Her hair had just been done and she was fashionably dressed. Czech girls are always fashionable. So much so that it leads me to believe that there must be some serious gossip between them when someone shows up under-dressed.

I remember that we went for Chinese at the “Dragon Bistro”. The Dragon Bistros are a successful chain in downtown Brno. Lunch was so much fun, just being together and catching up. Petra is a great conversationalist even if we often have “dictionary dates.” For the unacquainted, dictionary dates are when a dictionary is on the table most of the time, because it is “just easier”.  She wanted to take me to something special.

When she said it was a football game, I figured I was in for soccer Czech-style. Arriving at the field was only part of the fun. Petulko led me on a route ducking through fences and between buildings; I thought we were going to some sort of “pirate rules kickball game.” What I saw were 22 guys in shoulder pads duking it out on the grid-iron. The game was High school football at its best. It was more popular than the XFL at least, and they were not bad players. We watched more than half of it in the wind swept stadium. It was not a popular sport in Czech, but there were ten or twelve teams in each group that were normally organized around international schools or churches.

The game was complete with referees, hand signals and cheerleaders. It was not surprising the cheerleaders were gorgeous, but were more side-line dancers than American-style cheerleaders. They were fun to watch and certainly would give you something to work for if the stadium was a bit empty. We were a bit under-dressed for the late Fall weather and it was a bit chilly so we decided to go shopping for jackets in the warm mall.

We took the trams back across town to go shopping for a jacket. I was concerned at the time that I would not have enough things to keep warm during the winter. I was ready for the worst a Florida winter could throw at me, which was certainly warmer than snow and would only be cold enough for frosty grass a few mornings during the whole year. Petra and I went window shopping in several places around Brno. The new collections were not available, so I did not buy a new jacket. However, Petra found a new pair of pants. Her new stretch pants made her butt look great, I will give her that. Shopping with her is a lot of fun, even if she is a typical girl with no ability to make a decision. That afternoon Petulka showed me a million new things.  Important things like how to save cash at McDonald’s. You can save money at McDonald’s? Sure you can, there are several things in Czech McDonald’s that are not reported on the menu that are actually there. Like the McFry, which is a hot ham and cheese sandwich and a desert which I can not remember the name for but it was just 10 czk and quite yummy. Petra also introduced me to palačinky. A palačinka is the Czech take on a crepe. Her smile was classic when she demonstrated for me how extra marmelajda is essential. Just like our first date, we ended up at the movies.

I know we saw “Ukrýt” the first time, and on the second was “Scorpion King”. I had seen recently in America, but it was still fun, because Czech theaters are modern, and there is a constant discussion with her during the movie about how “interesting” the titulký, subtitles are. Petra probably is one of the few women I met in Czech who actually spoke English nearly fluently. She needed help from time to time, but normally she could keep up at full-speed. Other girls might just be shy. Usually the girls understand the English, so make sure you are ready for a reaction to your comments especially in Prague.

Petra put me up in a friend’s townhouse. Petra and I spent half of the night walking Buddy. Buddy is Petra’s friend’s dog that was rescued from the “bad American” students. Petra seemed quite upset that someone had neutered him. Which I saw as normal, but she thought was a horrible thing to do to a dog. There are a lot of full-strength dogs in Czech, but rarely any strays. I wonder what they do with the puppies when fido decides to sew his wild oats in the neighbor’s yard. Knowing how they love their dogs, it might not be a problem to open your house to another furry friend. Sometimes I bet Honza might also have to go next door to see a man about a dog too.