Passages

Passages are a “Prague-thing” I think. The construction in most of Czech is old and inbred. Nooks and crannies fill every spare inch along every block. A Czech passage address deep in the alley between buildings undoubtedly defies the old real-estate adage “location, location, location.”

Slow walks along the main squares of Prague will amaze new visitors. Ancient architecture and constantly reconstructed corridors twist and writhe through town. Unlike these neophytes, experienced Prague navigators never take the map route from point A to B. It simply takes too long. More likely the passage (“pasaž”) route is faster and easier. Deep within these passages are hundreds of stores. Mostly these stores consist of little more than one person stalls with an underpaid, surly attendant. Real Czech stores do not cater to tourists, so the prices are “very nice”, but services might be lacking.

“Buyers beware” is the order of the day in many of these stores. If you do not understand the “czechisms”, then your experience may be less than delightful. All sales are final without the “rozitko”, the famed Czech stamp, and usually with one too. In Czech, there is a belief that a stamped receipt that has the name, address and logo of a chain store is somehow more valid when it has a blurry and smudged stamp on it. I understand that a receipt is forgeable, but a Tesco, a British Wal-Mart, stamp could easily be stolen too. Not that it really matters, but it is impossible to believe that a warranty is not valid if the receipt is not stamped.

Forget about trying to return anything to these stores anyway. Their inventory will be different tomorrow and next week the store itself may cease to exist. Even if the store still does the same business, there is some unwritten rule of multiple repair trips are required before they will return any cash for any reason.

The joke about an Erotic City replacing a favorite pub or store in the passage is not funny. It is however, not uncommon to see a “House of Beaver”, “Pussy-rama”, “Crotch world” or some other “high-class” sex shop spring up seemingly over night in a neighborhood passage you were eating pizza in the week before. Erotic City is a reputable sex shop as sex shops go. However, many dildo emporiums found in the bowels of a long forgotten passage, are exactly what you might expect to find in something’s bowel.

Infinite excitement is not the only benefit of passage shopping. Often they are secret thoroughfares through the city. Minutes can be saved by cutting through metro stations and linked passages. The oldest parts of town are worm-eaten with these passages. Beware they are rarely straight and constant reconstruction often obscures yesterday’s path or landmark corners. The only thing that I have not seen or heard in these passages is the Romany girls plying their trade. If constant night-time propositions are not your style, you might consider the back way and stay off of the main drags.